Having trouble dealing with breakup and looking for help, especially if you are still in love with your ex? First you have to decide whether you want to find help to move on or to win them back.

When dealing with breakup, if you decide to move on, the help you need will depend mainly on how bad the end of the relationship was.May be it was one of those highly emotionally charged and draining events, then you will probably need months to get over it sufficiently to be able to move on with your life.

The first thing to do is to rebuild your self-esteem and one part of that is to look after yourself. OK, so you won’t feel like going out much, but try and give yourself a time limit to sit and be miserable. When dealing with breakup, remember it might NOT be your fault even if you feel it is. Don’t keep thinking it was something you had done or not done, it probably didn’t cause the breakup although it could have been the catalyst that triggered it.

If you are dealing with breakup, make sure any help you get is focused on looking after you, don’t worry about your ex here, let them find their own way even if you do still have strong feelings for them as it isn’t your responsibility any more.

If may help to find a professional to talk things through with it and to get things into perspective, so do this as soon as possible. Remember, if you are feeling emotional and particularly vulnerable, the sooner you start rebuilding your self-esteem the better.

Dealing with breakup may require you to decide whether you want to try and get your ex back. If that’s the case, then you still need to rebuild your self-esteem but you should also still put yourself first, and additionally develop a strategy to allow you to be strong enough to try and make up with your ex.

When you are through the initial stages of the breakup and feeling stronger, you then make contact with your ex. Ask for a meeting somewhere that is neutral. When you meet up, remain calm and try not to get emotional. Explain that you still have feelings for them and that you’ve had time to think and would like to make the relationship work. Take the time to listen to your ex and hear their point of view, whether you agree with it or not, you MUST listen.

Don’t push for any decisions there and then, give them time to think and wait for them to call you. Be honest with yourself, realise it could go either way. Just accept that if you decide to try, you will have given it your best shot and if it isn’t to be, accept that fate has something else in store for you. Dealing with breakup is never easy but don’t blame just yourself, it takes two!